Rest...

My body is just plain old worn out. Tomorrow morning David will be running the CBUS 10 miler without me. My body is just screaming at me to slow down or else it may just stop cooperating. Logically I understand why I need to bow out tomorrow, but I won't lie, it hurts. I trained hard and worked for this and I can't do it. David reminded me that I have nothing to prove to myself or anyone. 10 miles is 3 less than what I did in October and I can stand behind that. Still...

I have been apprehensive to write about the struggles I am having as I learn to deal with how hard it has been for my mind to catch up to my body. Body image is still a struggle and I always figured it wouldn't be once I was at my goal weight. WRONG. What would lead me to believe such a thing? Women (and men) of all sizes and shapes struggle with this so what makes me think a "magic number" would change that for me?

My challenge right now is this: I need to sit in this. I need to come to terms with what I have done to my body (in a very poitive but challenging kind of way). Most importantly I need to bask in the assurance, abundance and mercy of God and his love for me and remember that it's always been there.

I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. That both exhilarates and terrifies me. I am SO different and most of those changes are not physical. I am having learning where I fit. God is drawing me out of the season of weight loss and into new territory. My tendency is to want a new goal, a challenge. Yet right now I keep being told to just sit, just be. Huh? How do I do that?