auld lang syne

new year's eve is the most overrated holiday to me. mostly because the month of january just plain ole bums me out. it's bitter cold, gray and all the festivities of the holiday's are over. the lights are gone, the tree is gone, blech. i just get sad. plus, with a new year comes a lot of unknowns. i realize that each minute is an unknown but a whole blank year leaves me feeling more than slightly unnerved. this year i have no plans. david is heading to atlanta, ga for a conference with our church young adult group. he'll be gone for 4 whole nights! I WILL MISS HIM. i too was asked to go but can't bear 4 nights away from my sweet girl. this means that when the ball drops it will be me and my girl alone, and she will be asleep. i think i'll just get a fire going, pour some wine and spend the evening reading and avoiding the television. fine by me. maybe i can pretend "helluary" didn't come...

Mary

I read Luke 2 to David last night with the light of the Advent wreath glowing. It was a beautiful, quiet time for us. This chapter has been read to me hundreds of times through the course of my life. For some reason verse 19 stuck out to me in a new way. It says: "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart". Wow. She was ondering and treasuring the idea that her son was also her savior, her redeemer. THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD. What most this young first time mother have been going through?

Last year was Emaline's first Christmas. My first Christmas as a mother. I can remember the hours and days after she was laid in my arms and think about all the promise that she held. My child is pure and blameless. A gift, my JOY. I thought about what she might become, who she might love, and what will bring her happiness. It blows my mind that Jesus, my strong Jesus, was a baby laying in his mother's arms. Mary probably had similar thoughts about his future as I did with Emaline. Yet she knew he was also God with us. Emmanuel. She knew he was her savior, yet she gave him life. Right now I feel electric with the hope and light that is Christmas. For the first time maybe ever in all my life I think I understand a little about the mystery. REJOICE!