Food and Christmas

Food and Christmas are apparently linked together in my brain. The two go together like peanut butter and jelly to me. This year has been especially difficult for me because I have been forced to separate them, and it kinda ticks me off! I know that Christmas is about Jesus and the anticipation of his coming, and not cookies and the like. So then why do I feel like I can't really celebrate the coming Christ child because I can't eat all the yummy treats? Silly as it seems I can't help myself from feeling like I'm missing something.

I know I have food addiction issues. I have worked hard for a long time to break free, and in many ways I feel like I have a lot more freedom. Three years ago I would've said "Screw it! It's Christmas time! Eat all you want and don't think about it!" I would have listened...and been probably more miserable later on. I guess I just get tired of fighting and want to have a time where I can just let my guard down. Now is not the time for that though. I have to watch every morsel I eat because I am being closely monitored for gestational diabetes. Praise God I don't have it, but if I were to eat a bunch of cookies, bread or potatoes it wouldn't be a weeks time and I would need medicine. I have to stick with protein, vegetables and whole grains...or else.

Sigh. I'm so thankful that I don't need the help of pills to control my sugar and that I'm so much healthier this time. I just wanted to rant a minute and tell cyberspace just how annoying it is to not be able to eat what you want during this season of Christmas. Instead I am focusing on watching the wonder of this time reflected through the eyes of my sweet girl. She loves the lights, her little people Nativity scene and the way everything is decorated. She enjoys reading books and lighting the candles and doing fun activities with her family. She makes me smile everyday and my heart feels so much joy. That's more than enough.

Then there's this baby that I'm already in love with. With every sweet little kick I smile and count my blessings. I have been given a tremendous gift and refuse to take it for granted. I know so many women who have a miserable time trying to conceive and then carry a baby to full-term. That realization has made me grateful for each day of pregnancy, even when it's tough and uncomfortable. For that gift I will forgo the sugar and carbs. WORTH IT.